20 September 2011

Your hands really are holding me

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
-Your Hands, J.J. Heller

This last weekend I spent with my church small group going all over my island and doing all sorts of crazy fun things. I came into it kind of nervous because I didn't know anyone really in my group, but it was beyond amazing. I had way lots of fun, and all the girls are really great and super nice. So it was great!
 My hope for my post on Friday was to encourage others, and just to share the things God had given me. But over the course of the weekend, I began to see that almost as much as I had written thinking it was for others, it really was also something for me. I've been struggling with the loneliness of being one of the only girls I know and am constantly in contact with who is a Christian. And over the weekend as I spent time with the amazing adults who have chosen to give so much for us, and the other Christian kids, I began to realize the truth of what I had written. Mind you, I said I have never regretted this path I have chosen, and that it was the best thing I have ever done. Those things were, are, and always will be extremely true. But I was weary, if you will, of often not having someone to turn to who shared my worldview and love of God. I was kind of lonely.
 And then I was praying Saturday night as I sat looking out over a lake we were at, and I began to listen. And into that silence, God spoke about how much He loved me, and how He was consistent even when my friends weren't. That when my world was shaking, He stood. I was in His hands. I wrote about how when your burden was to heavy, He would take it, right? But that burden I had stubbornly kept, and foolishly clung too. And there He was, offering to take it. And He did. He really does, and I'm not just saying that. I still worry. It's not instantaneous. But he reminds me that the burden is His when I try to take it back.
  God has a sense of humor. I think He has to laugh, sometimes, as we stubbornly cling to our independence, not realizing or not caring that He's standing right there, and far more able to take care of our problem. I mean, we're acting like toddlers. Rather funny.
  It hasn't suddenly been perfect. But I think I'm starting to see some light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm starting to see the purpose of this time. And when I'm tempted to worry, I can remind myself that it is not mine to worry about. It belongs to my King, as do I. I am His and He is mine. And that is a beautiful promise.

Love:)

R

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