30 April 2012

Why we need circles

....that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
 God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Ephesians 3:17-21 MSG

Sometimes, I think there is a limit.

I am finite.

Therefore all things must come to an end.
Everything is a line segment {With a start and finish, as opposed to a mathematical line, which is infinite.}

This is how my reasoning goes.

But God created circles.

Here is something with no beginning and no end.
Like His love.


Actively look for an end.

You will not find it.

And if you are wondering how to see the beginning-
that is a fair question.

Start small.

You must have a drop
before you can have an ocean.

It is there.

Live fully.

of falling and
of failing

of trial,
of pain
of flames surrounding you.

Because you

He will honor that.

Because of Love.
Because He is good.
Because he is GOD.



A blessing is...

What a blessing,
to know that you are not alone.

29 April 2012

We are more...

 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?   He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.   Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised— who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor
life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Romans 8:31-39)

These words I read a few nights ago,
read again,
but for the first time.

So good.

It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn?


Not them.
Not me.

He justifies so that there is no condemnation.

What can separate us from His love?

Including myself.
Which is the thing that most often threatens to.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved .

We are more.
More than just okay.
More than just barely squeaking by.
More than  enough!
Because He is.




That I may Sing and Dance in You

 Seigneur, frustrer mes espérances, déjouer mes plans, mes désirs se fanent dans le néant, que je puisse l'expérience de l'impuissance et la pauvreté d'un enfant et chanter et danser dans l'amour de Vous qui êtes le Père, Fils et Esprit. -

Lord, frustrate my expectations, thwart my plans, wither my desires into nothingness, that I may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of You who are Father, Son and Spirit.

23 April 2012

Psalm 138

 Thank you! Everything in me says "Thank you!"
   Angels listen as I sing my thanks.
   I kneel in worship facing your holy temple
      and say it again: "Thank you!"
   Thank you for your love,
      thank you for your faithfulness; 
    Most holy is your name,
      most holy is your Word.
   The moment I called out, you stepped in;
      you made my life large with strength. 
When they hear what you have to say, God,
      all earth's kings will say "Thank you."
   They'll sing of what you've done:
      "How great the glory of God!"
   And here's why: God, high above, sees far below;
      no matter the distance, he knows everything about us.

When I walk into the thick of trouble,
      keep me alive in the angry turmoil.
   With one hand
      strike my foes,
   With your other hand
      save me.
   Finish what you started in me, God.
      Your love is eternal—don't quit on me now.




22 April 2012

When it is better to fail...

Our Father in heaven.....help us to see that it is better to fail in a cause that will ultimately succeed than to succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail. -Peter Marshall

21 April 2012

To the Always Faithful...

You......are faithful.
I...................am not.

I doubt.
Something comes between us,

and I make no effort.

I'm sorry.
forgive us our sins...

Forgive me.
My sins.

Whatever's between us-
move it.


For being

Even when the earth gives way.....
still You'll stand.

Even when the mountains fall into the sea....
still You'll stand.

Even when I wonder what You're doing.....
You still stand.

You've got amazing plans.

This I know,
this I am sure of.




20 April 2012

Bits of my thoughts today

Sometimes I like to just sit here,
like now.

Just write whatever on my brain.

Thoughts today......

-Not going to get much sleep tonight. Sleepover with the swim team at the pool. Including a midnight practice. Yeah....I'll be the grumpy older girl and make everyone sleep. We're going to watch one of the guys do a magic show at the high school as a benefit for their scout troop this evening. All of us older girls are dressing up all fancy, for fun, and because we never see each other in anything but sweats, running shorts, and swimsuits.

-I've sounded kind of depressed in recent posts. Sorry. I'm not, I promise. Just a heavy heart, for some reason, as I write.

-Sun is awfully nice. I love the rainy Pacific Northwest, but the sun is wonderful too.

-I'm done with Awana. Kind of sad, now that its over. Excited for the next chapter of teenagerhood and life in general.

-Thanks to you all for your kind comments on my wandering posts.  They mean a lot to me.

-Thanks for your patience with my brain. It goes weird places sometimes. It make perfect sense to me, though. ;)

-God, thanks for your patience with me. For your love even in my doubts. And for walking beside me every moment. For the love you give and the little words to me. For your great sense of humor.

Yeah. That's where my brain is today.



19 April 2012

Our God is in control

This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
This is how it is
And our God is in control

This is not how it will be
When we finally will see
We'll see with our own eyes
He was always in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we're waiting for that day

This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control

Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That our God is in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we're waiting for that day

We're waiting for that day
We'll keep on waiting for that day
And we will rise
Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)
Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)

18 April 2012

Psalm 27 (again)

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
     whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
    of whom shall I be afraid?
 When evildoers assail me
    to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
    it is they who stumble and fall.
  Though an army encamp against me,
    my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
    yet I will be confident.
  One thing have I asked of the Lord,
    that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
    and to inquire[ in his temple.
 For he will hide me in his shelter
    in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
    he will lift me high upon a rock.
And now my head shall be lifted up
    above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
    sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.
  Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
    be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
    “Your face, Lord, do I seek.”
      Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
    O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
     O God of my salvation!
 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
    but the Lord will take me in.
 Teach me your way, O Lord,
    and lead me on a level path
    because of my enemies.
  Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
    for false witnesses have risen against me,
    and they breathe out violence.
 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living!
  Wait for the Lord;
     be strong, and let your heart take courage;
    wait for the Lord!

17 April 2012

Fill me

Fill me.
Move me aside.
Speak through me.

Be real.
Let them see
You. Alone, always.

Not mine,
but Your will
be done now.

though, to
prayers. Offered up.
Praise to you.


Fill me.



16 April 2012

This is Home- Switchfoot

I've got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe you now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place I've never known
This is home
Now I'm finally where I belong
Where I Belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching for a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
This is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart set on what happens next
I got my eyes wide it's not over yet
We are miracles and we're not alone
And now after all my searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I've got a brand new mindset
I can finally see the sunset
I'm gonna call it home

Now I know
Yeah, this is home
I've come too far
And I won't go back
Yeah, this is home

13 April 2012

Psalm 37

Fret not yourself because of evildoers;
    be not envious of wrongdoers!
 For they will soon fade like the grass
    and wither like the green herb.
 Trust in the Lord, and do good;
     dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
 Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.
  Commit your way to the Lord;
     trust in him, and he will act.
  He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
    and your justice as the noonday.
 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;    
 fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
    over the man who carries out evil devices!
 Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!
     Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
For the evildoers shall be cut off,
    but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.
 In just a little while, the wicked will be no more;
    though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.
But the meek shall inherit the land
    and delight themselves in abundant peace.
 The wicked plots against the righteous
    and gnashes his teeth at him
but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
    for he sees that his day is coming.
 The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows
    to bring down the poor and needy,
    to slay those whose way is upright;
 r sword shall enter their own heart,
    and their bows shall be broken.
 Better is the little that the righteous has
    than the abundance of many wicked.
 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
    but the Lord upholds the righteous.
 The Lord knows the days of the blameless,
    and their heritage will remain forever;
they are not put to shame in evil times;
    in the days of famine they have abundance.
But the wicked will perish;
    the enemies of the Lord are like the glory of the pastures;
    they vanish—like smoke they vanish away.
 The wicked borrows but does not pay back,
    but the righteous is generous and gives;
 for those blessed by the Lord shall inherit the land,
    but those cursed by him shall be cut off.
The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
    when he delights in his way;
 though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
    for the Lord upholds his hand.
 I have been young, and now am old,
    yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken
    or his children begging for bread.
 He is ever lending generously,
    and his children become a blessing.
  Turn away from evil and do good;
    so shall you dwell forever.
 For the Lord loves justice;
    he will not forsake his saints.
They are preserved forever,
    but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.
The righteous shall inherit the land
    and dwell upon it forever.
 The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom,
    and his tongue speaks justice.
 The law of his God is in his heart;
    his steps do not slip.
 The wicked watches for the righteous
    and seeks to put him to death.
 The Lord will not abandon him to his power
    or let him be condemned when he is brought to trial.
  Wait for the Lord and keep his way,
    and he will exalt you to inherit the land;
    you will look on when the wicked are cut off.
  I have seen a wicked, ruthless man,
    spreading himself like a green laurel tree.
 But he passed away, and behold, he was no more;
    though I sought him, he could not be found.
 Mark the blameless and behold the upright,
    for there is a future for the man of peace.
 But transgressors shall be altogether destroyed;
    the future of the wicked shall be cut off.
 The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;
    he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.
 The Lord helps them and delivers them;
     he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
    because they take refuge in him.

12 April 2012

The boredom of normalacy

Why....do we want to be normal?

Normal's all the same. 
That's boring.

Let's be weird.

You know what the other word for that is?


How we're created.

we're handmade.
Not factory produced.

That's the glory and the grace in it all!

That when we are different-
people notice.
And my prayer is that they notice my God.
See how He makes me what I am.



On atoms and emptiness

Did you know......that the majority of an atom is empty space?
More than 99.99999% of matter is empty space.

Maybe......it's okay to be empty.
Because than the fullness is all the greater.

And we don't see matter as empty.
We see table, chair, floor, cheese, curtain.

In an atom, the negatively charged electrons cover the positive nucleus,
and blanket it.
The negative electrons repel other negative electrons.

And so even that which is empty, we touch and see as filled.
Because it is helped by an outside force.

When we are empty
we don't fill ourselves.
As hard as we try.

No, it is Christ who comes,
Christ who fills,
Christ who sustains us.

That we may be emptied into others.

This is my prayer in the harvest
Where favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to emptied again..........

-Desert Song



09 April 2012

Dare you to move- Switchfoot

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live

08 April 2012

This Resurrection Sunday.....

He is risen.
You are made new.

Matthew 28:1-10 NIVAfter the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."
So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

1 Peter 1:3-5 MSG
What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole.

Happy Easter!



07 April 2012

It's all grace

I wonder.........

What it felt like sitting in that closed and darkened room.
If it felt like betrayal.
All those promises:

It was my fault.

My sins sent my God to die.

I see those words and something breaks inside me.
I am a very broken person.

We are a broken people, and people of unclean lips. We always want an eye for an eye.
And blood brings healing.
Blood must spill through a wound to clean out the dirt.

Blood was spilled for my dirt
All that crap that is in my brokenness-
it is why blood was spilled-
why body was broken.

We see grace and love and mercy.
This is the crux of that day-

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
1 Peter 2:24

The death that shook the cosmos-

to show us grace.

It's all grace.



Luke 23:56

 Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment.

06 April 2012

Luke 22:39-71, Luke 23:1-55

 Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him.  On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed,  “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”  An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.  And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.
  When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow.  “Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”
Jesus Arrested
  While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him,  but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”
  When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?”  And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.
  But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him.
  Then Jesus said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple guard, and the elders, who had come for him, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs?  Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour—when darkness reigns.”
Peter Disowns Jesus
  Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. But when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them.  A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.”
  But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.
 A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.”
   “Man, I am not!” Peter replied.
  About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.”
 Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed.  The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.”  And he went outside and wept bitterly.
The Guards Mock Jesus
 The men who were guarding Jesus began mocking and beating him.  They blindfolded him and demanded, “Prophesy! Who hit you?”  And they said many other insulting things to him.
Jesus Before Pilate and Herod
  At daybreak the council of the elders of the people, both the chief priests and teachers of the law, met together, and Jesus was led before them. “If you are the Christ,” they said, “tell us.”
   Jesus answered, “If I tell you, you will not believe me, and if I asked you, you would not answer.  But from now on, the Son of Man will be seated at the right hand of the mighty God.”
 They all asked, “Are you then the Son of God?”
   He replied, “You are right in saying I am.”
  Then they said, “Why do we need any more testimony? We have heard it from his own lips.”

Luke 23

  Then the whole assembly rose and led him off to Pilate.  And they began to accuse him, saying, “We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Christ,a king.”
 So Pilate asked Jesus, “Are you the king of the Jews?”
   “Yes, it is as you say,” Jesus replied.
 Then Pilate announced to the chief priests and the crowd, “I find no basis for a charge against this man.”
 But they insisted, “He stirs up the people all over Judea by his teaching. He started in Galilee and has come all the way here.”
 On hearing this, Pilate asked if the man was a Galilean.  When he learned that Jesus was under Herod’s jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who was also in Jerusalem at that time.
 When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been wanting to see him. From what he had heard about him, he hoped to see him perform some miracle.  He plied him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer. The chief priests and the teachers of the law were standing there, vehemently accusing him.  Then Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked him. Dressing him in an elegant robe, they sent him back to Pilate. That day Herod and Pilate became friends—before this they had been enemies
  Pilate called together the chief priests, the rulers and the people,  and said to them, “You brought me this man as one who was inciting the people to rebellion. I have examined him in your presence and have found no basis for your charges against him. Neither has Herod, for he sent him back to us; as you can see, he has done nothing to deserve death. Therefore, I will punish him and then release him.”
  With one voice they cried out, “Away with this man! Release Barabbas to us!”  (Barabbas had been thrown into prison for an insurrection in the city, and for murder.)
  Wanting to release Jesus, Pilate appealed to them again.  But they kept shouting, “Crucify him! Crucify him!”
  For the third time he spoke to them: “Why? What crime has this man committed? I have found in him no grounds for the death penalty. Therefore I will have him punished and then release him.”
  But with loud shouts they insistently demanded that he be crucified, and their shouts prevailed.  So Pilate decided to grant their demand.  He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, the one they asked for, and surrendered Jesus to their will.
The Crucifixion
  As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.  A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him.  Jesus turned and said to them, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children.  For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the barren women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’  Then
   “‘they will say to the mountains, “Fall on us!”
   and to the hills, “Cover us!”’

    For if men do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?”
 Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed.  When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
  The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.”
  The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”
  There was a written notice above him, which read: THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.
  One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!”
  But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”
 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
  Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”
Jesus’ Death
  It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour,  for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.  Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.
  The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.”  When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away.  But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.
Jesus’ Burial
  Now there was a man named Joseph, a member of the Council, a good and upright man,  who had not consented to their decision and action. He came from the Judean town of Arimathea and he was waiting for the kingdom of God. Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body.  Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen cloth and placed it in a tomb cut in the rock, one in which no one had yet been laid.  It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin.
 The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it.

05 April 2012

Luke 22:8-38

Then came the day of Unleavened Bread on which the Passover lamb had to be sacrificed.  Jesus sent Peter and John, saying, “Go and make preparations for us to eat the Passover.”
  “Where do you want us to prepare for it?” they asked.
  He replied, “As you enter the city, a man carrying a jar of water will meet you. Follow him to the house that he enters,  and say to the owner of the house, ‘The Teacher asks: Where is the guest room, where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’  He will show you a large upper room, all furnished. Make preparations there.”
  They left and found things just as Jesus had told them. So they prepared the Passover.
  When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table.  And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.  For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God.”
 After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, “Take this and divide it among you.  For I tell you I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.”
 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”
  In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.  But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table.  The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed, but woe to that man who betrays him.”  They began to question among themselves which of them it might be who would do this.
  Also a dispute arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest.  Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors.  But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.  You are those who have stood by me in my trials.  And I confer on you a kingdom, just as my Father conferred one on me,  so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
    “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
 But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”
 Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”
 Then Jesus asked them, “When I sent you without purse, bag or sandals, did you lack anything?”
   “Nothing,” they answered.
 He said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.  It is written: ‘And he was numbered with the transgressors’; and I tell you that this must be fulfilled in me. Yes, what is written about me is reaching its fulfillment.”
 The disciples said, “See, Lord, here are two swords.”
   “That is enough,” he replied.

04 April 2012

Did they know

It's the Wednesday of Holy Week, and I sit here feeling the anticipation.
And the heaviness.
Wondering right now......if the disciples felt anything strange.
If maybe there was a strange tension in the air as they heard the Master speak about things they could not understand.
Sitting in the temple.......listening.
And many say that today was the day Satan entered Judas, and the course of history, the meaning of grace was certainly about to change.
Did they know, watching the man who had been with them, whom they had broken bread with, walked with, laughed with.....did they know that he was now the Devil incarnate?
These are the things I wonder about today.



01 April 2012

This Palm Sunday...

Sometimes......I am among the hosanna cheering throng.

I go out to meet Him.
"Save me. Save me."
I throw my coat to the ground, wave my palm branch in the dusty air.

He passes so near.
I can reach out and touch, almost.

And then.......... I turn and leave.
And I am like the rest of that crowd 2,000 years ago.
Perhaps I'll be among the murderous masses on Friday.

God grant I am not.