25 February 2013

how to be light

Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have.
Matthew 6:22-23

21 February 2013

he rescues

It's so easy to be numb.

And I began to get scared that I was too numb,
so I sat on the porch of an empty cabin in the rain,
and prayed.

You want to go on a retreat and have happy smiley experiences,
and I was crying.

Why God?
Where are you in all this broken?
What are you doing?

And you don't want to question,
because it feels like you're questioning His goodness,
but still.
I am made to ask questions.

The weight,
the pain.....
it overwhelmed.

Can I be honest?
It's been hard to hear Him over the rush these last few months.
I've really had to be ever so still,
listen hard,
to catch a whisper.

So as I sat their and prayed out my anger
and frustration,
and fear,
and confusion,

I heard the faintest nudge to Psalms.

The first psalm I turned to?
Psalm 10. Do you know how it begins?

Why, O Lord, do you stand far away?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?


To see that someone else felt the same....
to see that he was willing to be honest...
what a grace.

And I flipped pages,
and what came up?

In my distress I called upon the Lord;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.

Then the earth reeled and rocked;
the foundations also of the mountains trembled
and quaked, because he was angry.
 Smoke went up from his nostrils
    and devouring fire from his mouth;
glowing coals flamed forth from him.
 He bowed the heavens and came down....
  He sent from on high, he took me;
he drew me out of many waters.

He rescued me from my strong enemy
and from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
but the Lord was my support.
 He brought me out into a broad place;
he rescued me, because he delighted in me.
 
{Part of Psalm 18}
 
He heard me!
And He answered.  

He walked into the dark with me,
and is beside me.
 
The other thing?
Coming into the retreat,
over and over again in my head were the words
"I will never love you any more or love you any less than I do right now."
 
Also, at the camp in the mountains?
A secure feeling.
The feeling of being held,
safe,
loved.
 
Before I began to talk to Him about it all.

He is so gentle with me.

And now I understand-
it's okay to voice pain,
and anger-
one of the lovely women told me that
all this pain is why God hates sin so much.

It breaks His heart.

Our pain in watching the broken?
It's simply a glimpse of His pain.

I am so secure in that,
because I know He hears,
and I see He does something to answer me.

He is good.

All is grace, friends.
All is grace.


Love:)

R
 
 

18 February 2013

times- tenth avenue north


I know I need You
I need to love You
I'd love to see You but it's been so long

I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
I need to hear You
Is that so wrong

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Now You pull me near You
When we're close I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell you all that I've done

Are You done forgiving
Or can You look past my pretending, Lord
I'm so tired of defending what I've become
What have I become

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

I hear You say
My love is over
It's underneath
It's inside
It's in between

The times that you doubt me
When you can't feel
The times that you question
Is this for real

The times you're broken
The times that you mend
The times you hate me
And the times that you bend

Well my love is over
It's underneath
It's inside
It's in between

The times that you're healing
And when your heart breaks
The times that you feel like you've fallen from grace

The times you're hurting
The times that you heal
The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal

In times of confusion
In chaos and pain
I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame

I'm there through your heart-ache
I'm there in the storm
My love I will keep you by my power alone

I don't care where you've fallen or where you have been
I'll never forsake you
My love never ends
It never ends
, mmmm

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

lead me to the cross-hillsong

        The movie is clips from Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ, so be forewarned that it is rather graphic.


Savior I come
Quiet my soul
Remember
redemption's hill
Where your blood was spilled
For my ransom

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross,
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord, I lay me down
Rid me of myself, I belong to you
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I, tempted and trialed
Human
You word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross,
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord, I lay me down
Rid me of myself, I belong to you
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

To your heart
Lead me to your heart
To your heart
To your heart

Lead me to the cross,
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord, I lay me down
Rid me of myself, I belong to you
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

13 February 2013

turn first

Lent...
a time of giving up,
fasting from what we value or enjoy,
to remember.

Remember how broken and depraved we are,
remember to turn to Him to fill the hole.

Remember to say
Lord Jesus,
Son of David,
have mercy on me,
a sinner.

Remember His sacrifice,
how much Christ gave up,
so that we might be filled,
be healed.

Instead of trying to fill the hole
learning to let him make us whole.

Lent is not about what we give up,
so much as it is about learning to
let go
of
our striving.
Learning to turn first to Him.
With everything.

The fasting is only a reminder.


Turn to Him first.



Love:)

R

11 February 2013

the actions of love

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.  

1Corinthians 13:4-5 MSG

03 February 2013

beautiful-phill wickham


I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful